That day began with a deceptive calm. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the atmosphere in the cottage was so peaceful that I even allowed myself to enjoy a cup of coffee without interruptions. The All-Knowing Customer… Everything, Everything and Everything
Of course, that peace was destined to be short-lived. I knew it the moment HE showed up at the reception desk, accompanied by his wife, a restless dog and an attitude that heralded trouble.
-Good morning, I’m Alfons, this is my wife, Mariam, and this is Kiko,” he said, with a tone that seemed to announce the arrival of Alfonso X the Wise himself.
-Enchanted… ohh, Kiko, how handsome you are,” I replied, spreading my professional smile as I thought, “Really, Miguel? What a phony you are.”
Alfonso was quick to get to the point.
-We have a reservation for this weekend.
-Perfect. In whose name?
-I think Alfons.
The computer search yielded no results. Neither her name, nor Mariam’s name. Then the interrogation began.
-Who made the reservation?
-My daughter.
-And what is your daughter’s name?
-Mireia.
-Ahhh, here it is.
“That’s strange, he always puts my name,” Alfonso commented, as if he were pointing out a glitch in my system. What I was missing: a client who not only knew everything, but also believed he had absolute control of the universe.
After check-in, I showed them the house, the room, the common areas and the schedules. Everything seemed to be under control, at least for the moment. Alfonso inspected everything with the critical air of a luxury hotel inspector, while Mariam nodded shyly. Finally, he concluded:
-So far, we like it.
At the moment. That sentence made me suspicious.
And the calm was broken…. The All-Knowing Customer… Everything, Everything and Everything
The peace lasted until Mastitwo, my dog, appeared on the scene and crossed paths with Kiko. Mastitwo growled a little, as if to say, “This is my turf, watch out.” But Kiko, far from cowering, responded with a defiant bark, puffing out his chest as if he were a lion, even though his size was not that big.
It was then that I decided to broach a delicate subject:
-Is Kiko, by any chance, neutered?
-No, why? -asked Alfonso, crossing his arms as if he was ready to start a debate.
-It is one of the house rules. Males older than two years must be neutered if they are unsociable or dominant.
-Man, would you like to have your balls cut off?
I took a deep breath and launched into my standard response, honed after years of clients like this:
-It’s their eggs, not yours.
The conversation led to a surreal discussion about Kiko’s character. According to Alfonso, he was “very sociable” because he played with other dogs on the pee-pee. But when I asked how he got along with unknown dogs he met in the street, Alfonso remained silent. An uncomfortable silence, broken only by Mariam, who murmured:
-I always tell him….
Her look told me everything: she was tired of dealing with that man and his dog.
But he was not alone… The All-Knowing Customer… Everything, Everything and Everything
The other guests began to arrive, and with them, the real show. The first to appear was a Pyrenean mastiff accompanied by a shy podenca. As soon as they crossed the door, Kiko burst out barking, pulling the leash so hard that Alfonso almost ended up on the floor.
When a couple arrived with a muscular rottweiler, Kiko went beyond all limits. Tied to a table on the terrace, he began barking, growling and pulling on the leash with such force that he knocked over the entire table. Drinks, glasses and plates fell to the floor, while the rottweiler, impassive, gave him a look that seemed to say, “Really? This is your problem?”
Between apologies and pick-ups, I managed to calm the situation. When I returned to the terrace, Alfonso was already drinking something, with a frown on his face. I decided to approach him to try to mediate.
-All right?
-No. My dog is not calm, and neither am I,” he replied, as if it were my fault.
-Well, it’s normal. It’s the first time he’s out of his comfort zone. You need time to adjust.
-I don’t know… -Alfonso muttered, more and more somber.
Just then, as I turned to continue with my chores, I felt a prick in my butt. Kiko had bitten me. It wasn’t serious, but the pain was intense enough to let out a scream and a swear word. Mariam ran to me, horrified.
-I’ve told you a thousand times, Alfonso! This dog is not well. It already happened to you the other day with the letter carrier!
Alfonso, in his eternal denial of reality, just shrugged his shoulders.
-It was nothing. He is defending his territory.
-Your territory? -I replied, holding back my anger. Alfonso, we are in a rural house. This is not a battlefield.
He simply got up and left, muttering something unintelligible. Mariam, on the other hand, stayed by my side, visibly embarrassed.
-I’m really sorry, Miguel, I’m really sorry. I don’t know what else to do with them….
Goodbye… and back to tranquility. The All-Knowing Customer… Everything, Everything and Everything…
A few hours later, Mariam came back for me. Her expression said it all before she spoke.
-Alfonso says we are leaving. He is not at ease. He’s already packed his bags and is in the car.
The news left me speechless.
-He’s angry? After all he’s been through? Holy shit!
She nodded, with a bitter smile.
-That’s how he is. But tell me how much I owe you.
-Nothing, Mariam. You have enough to put up with.
He was silent, as if processing my words. Then, with unexpected determination, he looked me straight in the eye.
-I’ll be back. With my friends. Without Kiko. And without Alfonso. I loved this place, but I couldn’t enjoy it because of them.
I watched her drive away, with Kiko barking from the back window of the car and Alfonso driving with a scowl on his face. It was a relief to see them disappear down the road.
Two months later, I received a message from Mariam. She told me that she had convinced Alfonso to seek professional help for Kiko. The best part was her tone: ironic and light. “A real ethologist, not like him,” she wrote with a wink.
Shortly after, she kept her promise. She arrived with a group of friends, full of laughter, good humor and no trace of Kiko or Alfonso. That time, I could see her really enjoying herself. Sitting in the chillout with a glass of wine, she told me:
-Thanks for everything, Miguel. This place is perfect. I just needed to leave some “baggage” behind.
In the end, sometimes a bite – literal or figurative – is what you need to start changing.
From Mas Torrencito we wish you a good day and that your dog accompanies you !!!!
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If you want, you can see our vouchers for weekends, retirees vouchers, at an incredible price…go to www.mastorrencito.com or if you want you can read more history and anecdotes that have happened to us in Mas Torrencito… Click here:
