In the open door business, like the one I run, one learns that the “customer is always right”. MasTorrencito’s Toxic Customers
That is until he arrives… that individual worthy of scientific study, of a separate classification in the human fauna: the Toxic Client. Yes, with capital letters. Because he is not just anyone; he is the king of nonsense, the titan of absurdity, the Messi of annoyance.
It all began on a quiet autumn Saturday. The birds were chirping, the sun was shining on the solar panels, and the day promised to be placid? Ha! Who was I kidding? As soon as he walked in the door, the Toxic Customer displayed his special skills.
First, he touched everything. He left not a button, not a machine, not a stove untouched. As if he were in a technological amusement park and had paid for a VIP ticket. The scene started like this:
-Oh, it’s so hot in here! he said as he turned on the pellet stove in the chillout.
Seconds later:
-Wow, it’s cold! and he turned on the heat pump.
He then opened the door wide for his two dogs to come and go freely. That’s when I understood that he had activated the winter-summer mode in the same room.
Not content with his masterpiece, he headed for the dining room. There, for some unknown reason, the coffee pots in the bar didn’t seem to be enough for him. “These are cooler,” he said, as he turned on the ones in the dining room and left them running like they were on an espresso marathon. I said to myself, “It’s okay, relax, take a breath…” because, of course, if you mention it to him, you earn one of those Google reviews that start with, “The deal was lousy, I don’t recommend it.”
The crowning moment came with the salamander. He made his pizza and left it at 200 degrees all night. Ah, but it was a miracle that the light didn’t go out, the solar batteries held up stoically. The next morning, upon discovering the scene, I felt like the Universe was sending me a personal challenge not to lose my humanity:
–“Don’t kill him, don’t kill him, he hasn’t paid yet.”
And speaking of payments, the final straw came: the electric car. Ask permission? Who needs that? He plugged it right in and then came, very dignified, to complain:
– “This should be free!”
No, my friend. Neither energy, nor my patience are free.
When it was finally time to pay, he displayed his other skill: shameless haggling. What if “but this is not worth that much”, what if “they didn’t tell me that this is payable”. Oh, the nerve! And if that wasn’t enough, while we were picking up the room, we discovered his loot: gel, shampoo and even toilet paper. A real collector!
Reflection. MasTorrencito’s Toxic Clients
They say that there are people who come into your life to teach you something. The Toxic Client, in his infinite capacity to make us desperate, taught me two things:
- Patience is a superpower. If one manages to survive such a specimen without losing one’s composure, one deserves an honorary degree in Zen.
- Not everyone realizes the value of what others offer. Nor the real cost of powering 14 machines at once or charging an electric car with solar energy.
But in the end, what consoles me is that these types of customers are like summer storms: brief, intense, and then they leave the air cleaner. Because when they leave – and they finally leave – you learn to appreciate even more the good customers, those who pay with a smile and say goodbye with a “Thank you, everything was perfect!”.
To those, may they always come back! To the Toxic Customer… well, let him take another shampoo if he wants, but don’t let him come back for a long time.
From MasTorrencito we wish you a good day and that your dogs accompany you !!!!
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