It was a sunny day at MasTorrencito, that little haven where families, couples, friends and even pets find their home away from home. Oh what’s coming up at MasTorrencito… The new part of Viajeros ….
But alas, things are changing. The tranquility has been interrupted by a new regulation that not only forces us to fill out endless forms, but also threatens to turn the managers into real human relations detectives. Because yes, as of today, it is not enough to know how many people are coming, but what kind of relationship they have with each other. And, believe me, this is going to be enough to write a book.
The kinship show
Until now, things were simple. A couple would arrive with their children, they would be assigned a family room and everyone would be happy. But now, with these new requirements, things are getting more complicated. Because, of course, when it comes to modern families, kinship is not always so easy to explain.
Let’s imagine a family arriving:
-Hello, there are five of us. My partner, my two children and his son.
All normal, right? No, it’s not.
-Perfect, but I need to know the exact relationship: are the children common, from a previous marriage, adopted, or how are they related to each of you?
The couple remains silent. The father responds with a look of disbelief:
-Well… my children are mine from my previous marriage, and the little one is hers… but we consider them ours, of course.
-I understand, but legally, how is the relationship defined?
-Legally? Well… I’m their father, but she’s their… I don’t know, stepmother?
And that’s where the chaos begins. Because, according to the regulations, all this must be perfectly recorded in the traveler’s report. If the child has a different last name, or if one of the parents does not have custody, or if they are traveling with a temporary guardian, the form becomes a veritable hieroglyphic. And what if they don’t want to give so many details? Well, they can’t stay.
Modern couples: a bureaucratic nightmare
And let’s not just talk about families, which is already complicated. Modern couples also get us into trouble. Nowadays, relationships are as diverse as life itself, and not everyone is clear on how to label theirs.
-Excuse me, what is your relationship?
-We are a couple.
Married or in a common-law relationship?
-Well… neither one nor the other. We live together, but we haven’t formalized anything.
-Understood. And the children belong to both of you?
-No, the children are mine. He is more like a support, but not the father.
And what about cases where they don’t even know how to define themselves?
-Hello, we are friends… well, more than friends.
-So, you are a couple?
-Not exactly… but we’re not just friends either.
Here at MasTorrencito we are not one to judge, but filling out a form with this level of detail is like trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle without the key pieces. And the government expects us to do it with a straight face? Please!
Extreme scenarios: between laughter and awkward questions
And of course, we can’t forget the situations that will inevitably make us laugh (or cry inside):
- The blended family
A couple arrives with three children. Two are his and one is hers.
-And what is your relationship with each other?
-Couple.
-What about the children?
-Those two are mine, the other one is hers.
-Perfect, and what relationship do the children have with each other?
-Well, technically, they’re nothing. But they get along like brothers. - The “colleagues with children”
Two friends arrive with their respective children.
-And what is your relationship with each other?
-Friends.
-And between the children?
-Nothing, they did not know each other until today. - The couple “with history”
A newlywed couple arrives with children from previous relationships.
-We are married.
-And the children?
-They are yours… and mine.
The key here is that the standard does not distinguish between the emotional and the legal, but forces everything to be recorded in cold, bureaucratic terms. How do we record these relationships without it sounding like an interrogation? It is a mystery we have not yet solved.
MasTorrencito: the relaxed resistance
With these new rules, tourism establishments like ours find themselves in an absurd position. We are not policemen, nor judges, much less family therapists. Our mission is to make people feel comfortable, but these regulations seem designed to do the opposite. However, here at MasTorrencito we have decided that we will be fooled. If someone says they are “lifelong cousins” or “school friends,” even if the ages don’t add up, we’ll write it off with no further questions asked. Because, at the end of the day, we’re not here to judge or complicate anyone’s life.
Final reflection: the future of this madness
This cannot last long. Europe will surely overturn this regulation in a few months, because it clearly invades people’s privacy. What is the point of knowing if the child is a biological child or from a previous union? Or if a couple is “official” or just getting to know each other? In the meantime, here we will continue, between endless forms and nervous laughter, trying to keep MasTorrencito as that place where people, with their unique stories and complicated relationships, can find peace and tranquility.
Because, at the end of the day, all that matters is that our guests feel welcome… no matter who is who. 😊
As if all this were not enough, here at MasTorrencito, where dogs are not only welcome, but are the real kings of the place, we are already asking ourselves the big question: what will happen to our beloved pets? Because if we now have to interrogate humans, what assures us that the next step will not be to become canine census takers?
The dog’s form: the dystopian future of MasTorrencito
Imagine arriving with your dog, all excited because he can finally run free in our gardens, and the first thing we ask you to do is to fill out a form more detailed than his veterinary record:
-Excuse me, dog’s name?
-Max.
-Last name?
-Eh… he doesn’t have one.
-I got it. Breed?
-Mestizo.
-What about the relationship between you and the dog? Owner, temporary caretaker, park friend?
What if he comes with another dog? Then it gets even better.
-And what is their relationship with each other?
-Well, they’re partners… kind of like friends.
-Perfect, but normal friends or friends with rights? Because we need to specify.
And the dogs that come as a family? I can already imagine the scene:
-I come with my dog and her three puppies.
-Great! And the father of the puppies? Where is he?
-Well, we don’t know him. It was a fleeting encounter in the park.
-Understood, we will write down “absent father”.
Surreal scenarios: dogs in the bureaucracy
Of course, the irony would not be complete without imagining the most absurd situations that could arise:
- The adopted dog
-Relationship with the dog?
-He is adopted.
-Perfect, and do you know anything about his biological parents?
-Well… no, I picked him up from a shelter.
-Well, let’s write down “unknown background”. - The dog with dual nationality
-Where is your dog from?
-From France, I adopted him there.
-Perfect, we need his canine passport to verify his entry into the country. - The dog with complex relationships
-Relationship between the dogs?
-They are brothers… but they hate each other. - The “suspicious” visitor
-And this dog that you have with you?
-It belongs to my neighbor, I brought it because he could not come.
-Do you have written legal authorization to host the dog?
Microchips and bureaucracy: the height of irony
With so many forms, it wouldn’t be surprising if the next step is to require a detailed record of the dog’s microchip:
-Microchip number?
-I don’t know, I’d have to look for the paper.
-Without the microchip we can’t house him. Sorry, government regulation.
And of course, not only the microchip is not enough. Surely you would also have to fill in fields such as:
- Vaccinations up to date: yes or no?
- Have you bitten anyone in the last few months?
- Emotional relationship with the owner? Is he more of an independent dog or is he completely dependent on you?
MasTorrencito: resistance even with dogs
Here at MasTorrencito, where we have always treated pets as part of the family, all this seems crazy to us. Because, come on, if we find it invasive that they ask for data from humans, what’s left for our furry friends? Are we really going to have to become “canine officials”? What we want is for them to run free, enjoy themselves, bark and eat the treats we give them when they arrive, not for their owners to have to spend half an hour filling out a form as if the dog were going to enroll in a private school.
Final reflection: when bureaucracy invades everything
This leads us to an inevitable conclusion: if we do not set limits, bureaucracy will end up reaching even our pets. And if that happens, at MasTorrencito we will be the first to rebel. Because, at the end of the day, what we want is that both humans and dogs can enjoy their stay without feeling that they are going through customs control. So, don’t worry, there will be no uncomfortable questions for you or your furry friend. The only thing you need is to bring a leash… and a lot of desire to enjoy. 😊
From Mas Torrencito we wish you a good day and that your dog accompanies you !!!!
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