It’s hard to express the mixed feelings I have when I watch the news. I feel cheated, betrayed by those who are supposed to protect us. Resistance to darkness: Reflections.
I look at them, so well-dressed, so confident, talking from their comfortable offices, and I wonder if they’ve ever had to spend a sleepless night thinking about how they’re going to pay the next mortgage or bill. I wonder if they’ve felt the knot in their stomach, that weight in their chest that comes when you know you’re on the edge of the abyss and you’re only holding on out of sheer stubbornness.
Since this happened in Valencia, I have been following the situation closely. Seeing the images of these people, the destroyed houses, the pain on the faces of those who have lost everything… It is poignant. And the answer? A promise of 6,000 euros. A miserable 6,000 euros for someone who has lost everything he had, probably still owes 200,000 on his mortgage and doesn’t even know where he’s going to sleep tomorrow. I imagine a family, a father or a mother, seeing this number and realizing that it is not even a drop in the ocean of their problems. And what can they do? Swallow the pain and move on, because life does not give rest.
It’s the same story I lived with the COVID. Like many, I had a small business, my project, my life. The pandemic arrived, and with it the promises of help, the beautiful words of “we will not let anyone fall.” And I believed it. I applied for an ICO loan in April, thinking that it would be enough to save the business, not to have to lay off my employees, not to close the doors of a site that I had built with so much effort. But when November came, the numbers didn’t add up anymore, and I had to take out another loan. And here I am, with two loans weighing like a slab on me, waiting for 2027 to come to see if, after all this, I will still have something worthwhile. And the help? It never really came. Only more debt came, more bills, and an exhaustion that has become my daily companion.
It is exhausting to see those who govern us turn tragedy into a marketing game.
Now I see a politician thanking God and Franco, as if these absurd and empty words had any meaning. I see others who, with incredible disrespect, say that favors will go to those with the most “likes” on Instagram, as if someone’s misfortune can be measured on a social network. I feel more and more inside a theater of the absurd, and helplessness turns into rage, a bitter rage that fills me up day after day.
And here is the dilemma: what is left for us to do? Who to believe? People are so fed up with empty promises and lies that they are even starting to look favorably on figures like Trump, someone who represents the antithesis of what a leader should be. And while it makes me cringe to see this trend, I get it. I understand because, when you’ve been betrayed so many times, it makes you think that whoever comes is a corrupt, a racist, a misogynist. You just want someone to destroy this system that seems designed to crush us and leave us empty.
Every day, I wake up with this same question. How long will I last? How many more bills can I pay before it all falls apart? I look in the mirror and see the lines of worry on my face, the tiredness in my eyes. And it pains me, because behind each line there is the effort of years, the anxiety of sleepless nights, the weight of a responsibility that seems impossible to bear. And yet here I am still, fighting, holding on to something I can barely call hope.
Writing this at least gives me some relief. It helps me remember that I still have a voice, that even if the system seems intent on taking away our humanity, I haven’t lost mine. And as long as I have this rage, as long as I have this truth burning inside me, I will keep going. Because I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, I know there are others like me, who are also fighting against hopelessness, who are also looking for a spark of dignity in the midst of this darkness. And as long as I have that little flame, I’ll keep going, because even if all seems lost, at least I still have my dignity. And that, in this world of lies, is the only thing that really counts.
From Mas Torrencito we wish you a HAPPY WEEKEND!!! and may your dogs accompany you!!!!
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